split personality
n : a relatively rare dissociative disorder in which the usual integrity of the personality breaks down and two or more independent personalities emerge
there....i'm sure by now you're wondering what all this crap about split perso is all about....you see...i just discovered last saturday that i have this...er....sickness....called the SPLIT-PERSONALITY-ISM....sounds weird huh?anyway...yup...you read right....i'm a human being with 2 kinds of personality....i started calling the good me "steph" and the bad me "dawn"....taken from my whole name....i'll start describing them..er...me...now....
steph- easy to get along with, understanding,kind,patient,obedient,truthful,a good listener,suicidal
dawn- selfish,frank,always says the wrong things at the wrong time,edgy,touchy,temperamental,not easy to get along, always scowling, bossy, self-centered,masungit,mataray,disrespectful,moody,pessimistic,bitchy,cranky,abnormal,destructive,exasperated,pissed ,grumpy.....
okay....i have to cut it there coz i'm afraid i have to spend the whole afternoon thinking about my...i mean..DAWN'S bad attitude....damn...
i've been thinking about my DISEASE since 2 weeks ago and i came to a conclusion: I NEED TO GET RID OF MY ALTER EGO...before it's too late...my friend maan has been insisting that she will help me....but then how can she help me when the only one who can kill/fix the problem is me? and besides....HOW THE HELL I'M A GOING TO GET RID OF MY PROBLEM WHEN SHE'S THE ONE CONTROLLING ME RIGHT NOW...am i making any sense??guess not....but continue reading anyway....as i was saying...Dawn's the one who's controlling me right now...that's the reason why my new friends feel uncomfortable whenever i'm with them...not because they know about my problem (except jane and angie) but because i keep saying the wrong things UNINTENTIONALLY....you know like i say this thing and it turns out i said something bad....it may not sound bad/awful to me but it does to them!arrgghh....i need help....i tried praying a million times but up to now i don't see any improvements...guess i'm on my own....and also because of this stupid alter-ego thing, i had to breakup with kai....not because i don't love her anymore...but because i was being unfair to her....she fell inlove with someone who doesn't even know who she really is....no...wait...let me erase that..she fell inlove with the OTHER ME...the NICE ONE....not the evil one....too bad i can't tell her that...not only will she think that my reason is stupid, she probably won't even believe me,,,,no one believes me anyway.....and now that dawn's taking full control of me...guess the chance of me and kai getting back together is ZERO....i'll never be the right one for kai....i never WAS the right one for her and i never WILL be....
angie and i joined the Cheer dancers for the HRM and Tourism course....hehe....this is the 1st time i ever joined anything voluntarily....wish me luck....
i saw kai yesterday...she looked so.....sad...i miss her...:(
